As published in the Huffington post
earliest-signs-of-pregnancy
You tell each other everything, you share the most intimate secrets, laugh at the silliest of things and there’s no subject out of bounds. Yet there’s been something a little off about your bosom buddy lately and you can’t quite put your finger on it.
1 She backs out last minute of your regular fortnightly wine bar crawl citing headache/dodgy tummy/compulsory overtime. A little annoying but hey, life happens.
2. She starts dressing a little more conservatively, not enough to raise eyebrows but just little touches like a gypsy blouse and jeans rather than her fave killer body-con dress. All you’ve heard lately is how she simply MUST hit the gym soon. Odd, but her fashion sense has always been a little quirky!
3. She goes off her fave food comforts like coleslaw(!) and tea (not both at once!) and has been ‘on antibiotics’ due to’bugs’ for the last 2 nights out and hasn’t touched a drop of the good stuff. What IS wrong with this chick?
4. She cancels a scheduled all-day shopping binge with compulsory champagne pit stops on account of spending no time with her other half lately and he is ‘getting antsy’. That guy is soooo possessive! Oh God, has she gone off you and just doesn’t want to say??
5. She refuses a dip in the hot tub on pamper night as she has her period. Isn’t she due same time as you? Damn, yours will be any day now!
And then, out of the blue you get the Whatsapp that hits you like a truck and finally drops the penny. That fuzzy blurry pic of her little alien shaped future, which she excitedly confirms is due in 28 weeks and you plunge into crisis, wondering why she wouldn’t tell you this, the most precious of all things, when she usually spills her innermost secrets to you! How could you miss this? Anyone else and your sixth sense would have kicked in at the first refusal of a Jaegerbomb! Cue much self doubt and rising resentment from you.
In the midst of your inner turmoil, please cast your mind back to the intense pain and anguish of that heartbreaking miscarriage at 8 weeks you held her hand through a few years back. Refresh those countless conversations over copious amounts of Wairau Cove where she confided trying for that elusive baby was turning into a loveless chore driving a huge wedge between her and the other half. The searing pain in your heart you felt every time she texted post-doc appt to let you know the latest IVF attempt had ended in yet another sense of helpless despair. Now it almost makes sense of her random 360 u-turn six months back where she declared that they were done trying and the new plan was to focus on their careers and themselves for the next few years.
There are times we all need to work through the quirks and wonders of Mother Nature in our own way with only that one other human who can possibly understand it. Too scared to whisper the merest hint out loud to anyone else in the world for fear of losing the one desire almost within her grasp. She doesn’t love you any less, of course she still trusts you implicitly – in fact she needs you today more than ever, but it was her secret to keep, although it nearly killed her to hold anything back from her beloved BFF. Now, you must shed the hurt, dust of the doubts, get a date in the dairy to go baby shopping. Take her hand and run with her into this new, magical phase of your lives because after all, that’s exactly what the sisterhood is for!
Have you ever kept your biggest secret from your BFF? Let me know if you managed it!

 

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