As published in the Huffington post
You tell each other everything, you share the most intimate secrets, laugh at the silliest of things and there’s no subject out of bounds. Yet there’s been something a little off about your bosom buddy lately and you can’t quite put your finger on it.
1 She backs out last minute of your regular fortnightly wine bar crawl citing headache/dodgy tummy/compulsory overtime. A little annoying but hey, life happens.
2. She starts dressing a little more conservatively, not enough to raise eyebrows but just little touches like a gypsy blouse and jeans rather than her fave killer body-con dress. All you’ve heard lately is how she simply MUST hit the gym soon. Odd, but her fashion sense has always been a little quirky!
3. She goes off her fave food comforts like coleslaw(!) and tea (not both at once!) and has been ‘on antibiotics’ due to’bugs’ for the last 2 nights out and hasn’t touched a drop of the good stuff. What IS wrong with this chick?
4. She cancels a scheduled all-day shopping binge with compulsory champagne pit stops on account of spending no time with her other half lately and he is ‘getting antsy’. That guy is soooo possessive! Oh God, has she gone off you and just doesn’t want to say??
5. She refuses a dip in the hot tub on pamper night as she has her period. Isn’t she due same time as you? Damn, yours will be any day now!
And then, out of the blue you get the Whatsapp that hits you like a truck and finally drops the penny. That fuzzy blurry pic of her little alien shaped future, which she excitedly confirms is due in 28 weeks and you plunge into crisis, wondering why she wouldn’t tell you this, the most precious of all things, when she usually spills her innermost secrets to you! How could you miss this? Anyone else and your sixth sense would have kicked in at the first refusal of a Jaegerbomb! Cue much self doubt and rising resentment from you.
In the midst of your inner turmoil, please cast your mind back to the intense pain and anguish of that heartbreaking miscarriage at 8 weeks you held her hand through a few years back. Refresh those countless conversations over copious amounts of Wairau Cove where she confided trying for that elusive baby was turning into a loveless chore driving a huge wedge between her and the other half. The searing pain in your heart you felt every time she texted post-doc appt to let you know the latest IVF attempt had ended in yet another sense of helpless despair. Now it almost makes sense of her random 360 u-turn six months back where she declared that they were done trying and the new plan was to focus on their careers and themselves for the next few years.
There are times we all need to work through the quirks and wonders of Mother Nature in our own way with only that one other human who can possibly understand it. Too scared to whisper the merest hint out loud to anyone else in the world for fear of losing the one desire almost within her grasp. She doesn’t love you any less, of course she still trusts you implicitly – in fact she needs you today more than ever, but it was her secret to keep, although it nearly killed her to hold anything back from her beloved BFF. Now, you must shed the hurt, dust of the doubts, get a date in the dairy to go baby shopping. Take her hand and run with her into this new, magical phase of your lives because after all, that’s exactly what the sisterhood is for!
Have you ever kept your biggest secret from your BFF? Let me know if you managed it!
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9 Comments
@alex_keno
I only managed to get to 8 weeks I think before I had to tell my best friend. However, I was lucky that I had suffered no heartache before this. I can totally understand why this special secret is kept as I have friends who have been in a similar situation. I have nearly always guessed in private now I know the signs and it always makes me so, so happy when they finally share their exciting news. Even writing that has made me well up!
Ginger Mum
I know, it’s such an immotive subject over something so special!Understandable it brings issues though! Let the joyous part commence!
lynn @ More4mums
I love this post, it is so difficult to know who to tell and when to wait isn’t it ? Have shared on pinterest for you. Stopped by from #twinklytuesday
Ginger Mum
Thank you. I’ve had amazing feedback from the post, thank you for sharing!
Musing Mumma
Ahhh … so true. For most of my friends I knew – one particular friend came over for dinner (prosciutto and pea risotto) and left tiny bits of cured meat on the plate. It was a telltale sign. I think the best friend ignores these quirks, even if they have their suspicion. You’ll be told when they’re ready. In the meantime, messing with them a little bit can be a bit of fun, hahahaha! #brilliantblogposts
Ginger Mum
Haha I like the idea of messing with them a bit 🙂 I think sometimes you can miss the obvious when you are so close to someone too. Right under your nose!
Caro | The Twinkles Mama
I went through a full round of IVF and was 14 weeks pregnant with my twins before I let on to my best friends what had been happening. I was so scared about losing another precious baby that we decided to wait until we’d had the 13 week scan. She totally understood too 🙂 Thanks for linking up with us at #TwinklyTuesday
Ginger Mum
Wow, it’s amazing how often this has to be kept secret. So glad everything worked out for you and your best friend was so great about it!
Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks
Mine all told me that they knew when I finally confessed but the lovely thing was that they were all so happy for me and didn’t call me out on it because they knew we wanted to wait to tell! #twinklytuesday