Yesterday a woman died right in front of my eyes. On a train.
A combination of stage-frightened first-aiders and off-duty medics travelling on their previously merry way from London on a scorching Saturday afternoon battled for 45 agonising minutes on the cruel hard platform tarmac in front of her devastated husband while they frantically hoped for the non-existent ambulance.
Usually a woman of statuesque frame, she was reduced to a human trampoline as the sweating, red-faced team attempted to pummel a pulse back into her lifeless body.
If witnessing something like that isn’t enough to make you appreciate your own life, what is? A spur to weed out the Debbie Downers blighting an otherwise chilled existence.
But why should it take a dramatic turn of events or a game-changer scenario to grasp the joy of life and cherish every moment like its your last? I like to think I appreciate my life day in day out, with the little moments like the pleasure of sinking into fresh garden-dried bed sheets or in the eye-creasing smile of one of my children when they are offered an unexpected treat.
Recently, I seem to witness and be surrounded by drama. Rarely at the heart of it but it’s on my radar. And sadly it is my reluctant observation that usually it is created by a woman and directed towards other women.
Frankly this has been a repeating pattern since the school playground, but you kinda hope it dissipates as you age. Nope. Not a bit. Well not among the masses anyhow.
I once worked in sales in a factory which had a Clean Room. A room where they chucked 30 women together in scrubs to assemble life-saving medical products day in day out and it bred more sniping, backbiting and bitching than I’ve ever seen in one location! Watch that clean room get grubby in 0-60!
I see, even in this blogging world, a tale of two tribes. On the one hand, a network of amazing, sharing and caring females keen to give each other a helping hand to the highest level possible, juxtaposed with the cutting crew who can’t bear to watch others get ahead, seize amazing opportunities and work with this brand or that, so they tear down as trolls and bad-mouth in the pursuit of quieting a vibrant voice.
So why can’t we, as the sisterhood, just get on? Why isn’t it in our DNA to only support and nurture rather than knock down and destroy our fellow females?
Jealousy is the number one contributor, it would seem. Whether it be cliques getting clique-ier, keeping up with the Jones’ syndrome, career coveting or plain old wardrobe envy, the green-eyed monster lurks expectantly, waiting to pounce.
I’ve observed lovely, sweet and successful women be targeted and slandered for personal gain, simply because the perpetrator could not bear to watch the rise and rise of a hardworking person when their own lives and goals were not going to plan. Bitterness and resentment only lead to self-destruction and I have no place for that in my little ginger existence any more thank you very much!
I know so many positive, nurturing, powerful women who would rather gnaw off their own foot than put another woman down for no good reason. I surround myself with them now and have managed to siphon off the ones who merely drain me. Occasionally bad judgement on my part allows a rogue trader to slip through the net but as with many fickle self-obsessed people who only have themselves at heart, they soon show their true colours and end up in the sin bin. Huzzah!
Surround yourself with positive minds for a positive life Ladies. Love and #girlpower to you all!
Have you experienced the wrath of your fellow woman? How did you deal with it? Are you feeling the love or the loathe?
21 Comments
Honest mum
LOVE this, so, so lucky to have the strong women in my life that I do like yourself but I’ve been burnt before and too many times. It all boils down to insecurity and it makes me truly sad. We women and men need to stand together, supporting one another x
Ginger Mum
Absolutely darling, I feel exactly the same. Thank goodness for the stars among the clouds!xx
Lucy Bishop
Love this. So so true, I could have written it myself. I’ve learnt the hard way too and I’m getting so much better at weedling out those negative, draining people from my life. I’m infinitely happier because of it!
Gosh, what a dreadful experience for you on the train the other day, devastating! A stark reminder that life is so fragile. As my wise old grandad used to say… “life isn’t a rehearsal” xxxx
Ginger Mum
Absolutely darling! Your grandad was spot on! Love you xxx
Fran Back With A Bump
I really don’t know why some women are so bitchy. I always used to hang out with boys in my previous life pre kids and going out drinking. There was no bitchiness over outfits, men or anything, so much easier.
I posted the other week about bitchiness too, it’s a shame some women feel the need to be spiteful to others. Jealousy is such an ugly trait!
#dreamteam
Ginger Mum
Most definitely! Thanks Fran!
Adele Mackinnon
Gosh, how awful, thoughts go out to her family and friends, so sad.
You need to love, nourish, support and encourage each other, not everything people do you are going to agree with, but you can respect their choices. I have been lucky and have a few really good friends that have supported and encouraged me with work, they understand I am not always around for a coffee, then there are others that have closed ranks, question then is am I better off without them, did they make me happy, they should not be making me feel guilty about doing something I love and am passionate about.
Rachel George
Now in my 40s I am very lucky to have a team of women friends who are always looking out for each other and ready to give each other a hand up. They are my #DreamTeam
Ginger Mum
You are indeed very lucky Rachel, always hold them dear!
The Unsung Mum
It’s so refreshing to read a post like this. A few weeks ago i wrote a post about us mums bashing each other and the response was mixed. Like you said, there are so many people who only want to bring you down. I’ve recently ran into a clique group of bloggers and it hurt when no support was given back. But i’ve risen above it and plan not to be bitten twice!! LOVE LOVE this! #TwinklyTuesday
Ginger Mum
Thanks sweetie! I think its all about finding the right tribe, however long that takes – never settle!
teacuptoria
I totally agree! It’s so sad when women can knock each other down like that but it’s always been the way. Jealousy and insecurity are very ugly. I’m also getting better at staying away from negative people. The next chapter in my life is all about positivity and attracting lots of wonderfulmess my way. A great post and lovely to come over to your blog. Tor x #TwinklyTuesday
Ginger Mum
Thanks lovely! Great to hear your positivity!
Lux G.
Oh, the strength and power we possess if we unite. Women rules!
Helena
I found your post to be a true eye opener. #TwinklyTuesday
Lisa
Your train encounter with the dying woman must have really shaken you up; I’d be so unglued about that. Like you, I have such a busy life that I don’t have enough time for all the people I adore, and I have ZERO time to waste on people that don’t deserve it. This post was a brilliant reminder to cherish and treasure every single minute of our precious lives. Big hug to you, gorgeous Amanda xx
Ginger Mum
Thank you darling, yep, can’t waste time on negative Nellies! I’m so hoping to see you soon xx
Annette, 3 Little Buttons
How truly dreadful. I cannot imagine how this must have felt for the family involved, or indeed the bystanders to witness a shocking thing like that… and on the tube platform. Events like this are bound to trigger all sorts of emotions and a renewed appreciation for life.
I am all for women supporting women. Well, actually people in general supporting people. I love the quotes you have used. They really drive the message forwards. I have only had positive experiences with fellow bloggers. But I have read posts from others about odd comments.
Thank you for linking up to the #dreamteam x
Ginger Mum
Thanks Annette, def positives for me too but sad to watch others going through it x
Lisa (mummascribbles)
It’s always so sad to see women trying to drag others down. SO many times in the blogging community I have seen this happen and it’s just awful. There is so much jealousy and bitchiness it can often feel like you are back in the school playground at 14 years of age. Great post and I am sorry that you had to watch that poor lady die. So so tragic. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Ginger Mum
Thanks Lisa, Yes, school days never end! Thank goodness I’m not at the heart of any of it! Thanks for hosting xxx