Ginger. Aaaaargh! It is a term I have loathed for most of my life, since it became clear to me the stigma attached to the label.
It is now arguably one of the words I use most. What a turnaround. I decided to use it in my blog name, in an attempt to grasp my USP, and perhaps to finally, once and for all, embrace the millstone it has become around my neck.
Since schooldays began, I have been aware that there was something ‘unique’ about my appearance. Being decidedly average looking, I have one particular outstanding feature, quite clearly my flowing Titian locks. They have long been the bane of my life for numerous reasons. As soon as children were of an age where they could differentiate between aesthetic differences in themselves and their peers, I have been described by my hair colour, it has become my achilles heel.
I was never actually bullied at school, let me be clear. However, I have been teased mercilessly and been given countless ‘fun’ nicknames over the years related to my hair colour. Forgive me if I do not guffaw along with your jovial quips about Gingers, please understand if I do not ‘ROFL’ as you do when you think up yet another derogatory or vulgar term to describe my looks. Maybe I’ve no sense of humour around the subject, maybe it is just downright unacceptable, or perhaps I’m just over it.
Growing up, I wanted desperately to change the very thing which gave me individuality. Why not just dye my hair? My mum, who loved my locks, told me that a redhead’s hair turns green when dyed so I was always too afraid to try it! Cheers Mum! To this day I’ve never faked my follicles. As soon as the grey starts to show too much though, I’m on it like a car bonnet.
As I entered my twenties, my confidence in my appearance had not progressed greatly. However, it was chivvied along by a mixture of numerous elderly ladies who would literally stop me in the streets and compliment my colouring. Their statements often start with ‘I used to have the same hair colour as you’ or my Grandchildren are Ginger’. They would then follow up with heartwarming tales of their affection for the affliction and I’d depart their company usually buoyant and basking in the glow of their appreciation. This regularly occurs, mainly from waitresses, random strangers & people I meet for the first time. If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard ‘people would pay to have your hair colour’……
But still, for years I would insist on my hair being referred to as ‘Titian’, a perfectly plausible reference made acceptable by the legendary painter who famously painted his loved of the ruby-crowned ladies. The definition in Wikipedia is ‘Titian is a tint of red hair, most commonly described as brownish-orange in colour. More so, Titian hair is specifically a bright colour, with a tint of golden-brown. It ranges in shades from medium to dark. Like most red hair, it is commonly associated with light features’. Er yeah, understatement!
I often lament that I was born in the wrong Pantone – a sad fact I secretly believe – and I camouflage my pale skin with self-tan and plentiful make-up. Maybe one day I will fully embrace the freckled face but I can’t see it coming any time soon.
When I gave birth to my first son – a particularly gruelling and dramatic experience – my second question (quite shockingly) was – does he have red hair? Clearly I established his safety & well-being first but hot on the heels of that was my concern for his physical attributes. But as we revelled in the joy of our new baby boy as the health professionals took him to check his vitals and as we listened to the sound of his first cries, I was worried about him being pale and Ginger. The reason for this was solely that pre-birth I had long worried for the mental happiness of my future teenage son where I fretted over how he would handle the teasing, the nicknames and the ribbing, as a boy would it be easier to take than as a female? Would it be water off a ducks back or would it upset him like it did me? Would he harden up like I did or rather retreat into himself, would it impair his social skills etc. All these worries based around a purely physical embodiment of his natural DNA.
Fortunately when I first set eyes fully on the exquisitely formed product of my womb, the miracle of Mother Nature kicked in and I saw this perfect, handsome fusion of cells, resplendent in the Ginger gene, looking sleepily at me with his face of perfect newborn innocence, it was with great clarity and relief I realised he looked exactly as he should.
Fast forward five years and God blessed us with a second slice of perfection in the shape of Dominic – all 10lbs, 4oz of him – ouch!
Both our young sons look alike, they have the same skin tones, hair colour and sweet, kind nature.
My husband has been blessed further, flying the flag for the Ginger gene and fathering two other stunners with fiery manes, my gorgeous step-daughter and handsome step-son, Kevin. Also a third beauty, Alison, who was neither blessed nor cursed in colour but she is a unique, beautiful brunette. My eldest step-daughter, Gemma, herself has two stunning, beloved girls, our grand-daughters and neither share the hair colour of their mum. Crazy isn’t it? Titian sure likes to skip a generation! When she was little, we used to be ‘Big Red’ and ‘Little Red’, it’s so much easier to be proud when you have an ally!
Thanks to my husband’s confident attitude and forthright approach to sensitivities, we affectionately refer to our home as ‘Ginger Towers’ and have a policy of embracing all things red, in an attempt to show our children a positive outlook on their most noticeable physicality.
Researching for this post on the internet, it’s quite clear the general consensus is that we are a fiery, highly desirable (!) lot and a real force to be reckoned with!
I have slowly come round to this and I feel like it is, like it or loathe it, my noticeability factor in a saturated blogging world, so have made it my moniker and I have to say I truly am loving it! It’s snappy, memorable and most of all, me.
16 Comments
nicola shaw
Love this latest installment! Being a mum of a handsome red head too, I shared with you all the concerns about whether his life would be made harder because of his hair colour. The only difference being that it came as a complete surprise to us! As myself and my husband are both of an ash blonde hair colour it was truly unexpected. Research suggests that the gene has to be on both sides, so with both families having Scottish origins it should probably have been no surprise. over the years I have revelled in the number of strangers stopping me to compliment my sons beautiful colouring. We were even stalked on the side of a mountain by what turned out to be a research geneticist who told us that my sons colouring was very rare and fascinating, which obviously made him feel on top of the world. Personally I feel that there seems to be an increasing number of children today who can be described as landing somewhere along the spectrum of red; whether that be because I, myself am more aware of it now or some more scientific reason? either way I am a very proud mum of a very handsome and loving ginger boy and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Ginger Mum
Your fabulous comment is a blog post in itself Nic! Yes, you have such a handsome redhead boy, and another to boot! We truly are blessed!
Nicola
Great post! Everyone has something about them that they aren’t happy with. It shows great strength to finally accept it & even more so to appreciate it xx
Ginger Mum
Ah, thanks so much, it was a big decision to write about it!
Julie Downes
Great post to read. When our second child was born there was a flicker of ‘ginger’ and my husband was ever so excited but atlas it has now turned very blond, though I’m sure it won’t stay that way forever, both of us being naturally brown (years ago – one now very grey and one coloured differently every few years). Gorgeous photos of your boys, love that you embrace all things red! #TwinklyTuesday
Ginger Mum
Thank you hon, I’m just spreading the Ginger love 🙂
Nicky Kentisbeer
I love it. I always wanted ginger babies and I got one! Not sure how because we are both dark but my daughter was born with orange hair. Now that she’s older it’s very red and you know not a day goes by when someone doesn’t comment and say ‘isn’t your hair a gorgeous colour’. She love the compliments and loves her hair. I have to say I would love it too. Red heads rule. I see the most amazing shades of red hair on kids and just love it. #twinklytuesday
Ginger Mum
It really does rock, now that I’ve embraced it! So glad your daughter can appreciate it.
Alice @ The Filling Glass
I’m glad you are embracing your red hair. It sounds like you have developed a very balanced approach. Your boys look gorgeous and very alike! Our youngest has ginger hair (although it surprised me as she was born the same colour as the other two!) and is certainly a force to be reckoned with ;-). I’m hoping that she will have lots of resilience to deal with any problems that other people have with it, although so far everybody comments that they love it. Other children can definitely be cruel but they will just pick on any weak point, so I guess I just have to teach her that her hair colour is not a weakness.
#brilliantblogposts
Ginger Mum
Definitely! Power to the redheads!
Carol Thomas
I was born a ginger too. My hair went white blonde in the sun of Cyprus as my late father was in The RAF. When we came back to The U.K when I was 5 it then faded out into a mix of reds, gingers, blondes, auburns and browns. So I was neither 1 thing or another. I hated it. Hairdressers told me people paid a fortune to get my colours. Erm! They were welcomed to it, even though I wasn’t completely ginger anymore, the undertones were there.
None of mine have inherited the ginger streak. Today my hair is well coloured a I am getting older and greys do not exist in my life so they are coloured out. Strangely enough I am at the moment a copper/red colouring. I am pretty lucky I can do the majority of colours hair wise. Yes it has been changed since the pic I think that will show on my profile was taken last summer. I change my hair colour regularly.
Ah now I have given you an essay on my hair life, I will get to the point about tanning: I dont tan well either. It’s a flipin pain the process I have to go through to get any colour. I can’t just walk out in the sun and be brown. I always go red first and never darken to the colour of so many. I can manage to get the whiteness off my legs but they are still only a hue of a tan.
People always say be careful your red and my bored response every year on holiday ”is I always go red first” I do use a good an accelerator to help prep the skin before we go away a well.
You probably thinking at least you can get a bit of a tan: Just wanted to share my experiences of it being a pain in the neck my fair/ginger/red background shade. Oh and don’t get me going on freckles. LOL. There aren’t enough fingers and toes in our home to count them.
Your boys are gorgeous BTW. Love the pictures of them especially the one’s in their suits. So cute
Ginger Mum
Ha, feeling your hair journey! Re the tanning, I just became a spray tan technician and that helps with the issue 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to comment and for your kind words xx
Divatmalom
Your sons are beautiful & you have also an amazing stunning hair Color! My husband had the same hair color as a child & also as a young man at the age of 28. Now is he 34 & his hair is dark gold brown. MAybe your kids will become later also darker hair.
By the way beautiful blog!
Gerda from divatmalom.com
Ginger Mum
What kind words Gerda, thank you so much 🙂
Megan
Your hair colour is gorgeous & your boys are adorable! My brother got the red head gene in our family and I’m so jealous that I didn’t! It’s stunning – I could never understand why people teased other people for being ginger at school.
Ginger Mum
It happens to my son daily! So awful, don’t understand why it is deemed acceptable! Thanks for your comment lovely xx